She was standing at the entrance of my room. I could sense her though I did not lift my head because I was busy giving the finishing touches to my article. She has been waiting there for quite some time now , but only the last few minutes she was frantically trying to catch my attention. Just as I lifted my head I could see her tear-filled eyes imploring me to let her meet me. “Yes, come in”, I said and the next minute she was there right in front of me sobbing to her heart’s content .I offered her water from my bottle which she hesitatingly got from me and gulped down a little. I allowed her to calm down. After a few minutes of uneasy silence only punctuated by her receding sobs she decided to speak and I was ready to listen.
The usual tale of betrayal by the man whom she loved most. She had known him for less than six monhs. She met him in a party that she had attended along with her friend for the first time. He was so ‘dashy’ and ‘cool’.She fell for him and thought he saw heaven in her. The mad rush came to a jolting halt when she vaguely sensed that he was consciously avoiding her The reason: he no more found her interesting .She was summarily dismissed each time she approached him for justice.
I remembered the recent telecommercial. At least here it seems to have lasted six months .But in the commercial ? In the commercial the boy who is allured by another girl during his date with his girlfriend decides to part as friends. The date agrees readily because she also has found another boy more attractive than her erstwhile boyfriend. Her former boyfriend understands her mood and acknowledges the ridiculous situation with a knowing smile.
How could I help this girl? What was her problem? What had upset her ? That he had betrayed her? Yes, to a certain extent. Had she gone deep into the relationship that it was difficult to retrace the steps as Macbeth put it? Was she on the verge of meeting a lady doctor? Not exactly, though there was something very physical about the relationship. Was she sad because she had to part with him? No. I was surprised.
Then what was causing her to be so uncontrollably sad? Her tears were not tears of sorrow but of anger, she clarified. Angry with whom? Him? Yes. Him and also herself. Why , because she felt betrayed? Not betrayed but insulted. Insulted? Because she was not able to attract a guy anymore? Yes and no. She felt cheated because he had made use of her naïve trust in him to commit a physical assault on her. She had participated in everything thinking she was the only woman in his life. She was actually angry with herself for having permitted him to devouver her inner self before even knowing him better It was a brutal assault on her self respect. The very thought of him gloating over his latest spoil maddened her with anger.
But other than trust in him what goaded her to have taken this extreme step of letting him in in the first place? She had no answer.I had another question. What if he had not ditched her so frankly but had gone along with another girl simultaneously? If she had named what he had done to her as betrayal what would she have named this simultaneous disloyalty? Her predicament was strange. Should she be glad that he was frank and let her go or should she take revenge upon him for ditching her?
Was he alone in the wrong? What exactly was wrong about the whole affair? What were the factors that led her up to this? Who had guided her in her journey of passion? Had it ever occurred to her that a relationship of this kind was a life-long commitment? Did it not seem to her as strange that the boy felt she was nor more interesting all of a sudden? Does it mean that somebody else has managed to attract him presently? {Like the commercial}What is the guarantee that someone else will not supersede her in the future?
This has become the trend with youth nowadays. They are easily bored with anything soon. There is no longlasting like or dislike for anything .No whim lasts for more than a week. There is no passion for anything as such. No fervour for anything. Loyalty is no more a cherished virtue by the youth. Do they have lifelong friends? I have my own doubts.They cannot stick to one employer .Earlier they had shifted jobs for a hike in pay,for a better designation, for interesting perks. But now ,it is not anymore prestigious to be loyal to one employer. They are even afraid that they may not be treated with respect if they stick to the same employer for more than a year or two.
Is this attitude towards life wrong or right? Like the girl in the commercial if everyone applies this yardstick to measure every activity of others probably nobody may be hurt. But if this is going to be followed with a religious zeal by all youth of the present day , where will it lead them to? They will be drifting away from each other with no anchor to support them, no fundamental emotion to keep them in their stead. They will miss the thrill of staying together with the the dear and near through thick and thin. There will be nobody for them and they will be nobody for anyone. Aren’t the youth paying a huge prize for this shallow revelry? Aren’t they denying themselves the pleasures attendant on loyalty like dependability, trustworthiness, a sense of belonging, and a profound meaning for life?
Probably our friend too had not been very serious about her choice because she never treated it as a life-time commitment. The pleasures of a new friendship just thrilled her and she was ready to pay any prize for it. Had she respected herself the most she would not have agreed to give herself to an unknown person so quickly..
But what is the ultimate cause for such haste in accepting and rejecting? Such a ready exchange program of lovers ?Can I term it intolerance? Or is it true that no one is sure what exactly he or she wants from a relationship? Why is there so much lack of clarity ? Isn’t it true that what you expect from a relationship you shall deliver unto it too?
”Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us and deliver us from evil. Amen”
